So many people tell me how brave I am because I travel to places alone. I’m not brave and telling me that I am doesn’t give me a confidence booster when I’m out. Instead, it makes me feel like there is something scary while traveling that I need to be brave about, which in turn, raises my anxiety, which then makes me not even want to go outside. I’m not brave.
In the same token, I know people mean well, but telling me to watch out for crocs, hippos, or sharks, or how high crime is in a place I am, that isn’t helpful. I know the crime rate where I am going. I know there are crocs and hippos on the Zambezi, and great whites while surfing, uh, duh? Isn’t that the point of where I am? I’m not going to just throw caution to the wind, well because you said something … Actually, I might, but I’ll calculate the risk first, and still jump second. It’s how I’m hardwired.
Most of my friends know that the best method to get me to do something is to tell me to do the opposite… Or just remain indifferent, and eventually I’ll come around. I have a very resilient, stubborn streak inside of me. It’s safe to say that I love being difficult. Yes, I probably act like I’m a 2 year old at times. And guess what, I don’t care if you think it’s immature. <nanna nanna>
I’m not brave though. I do things on my own schedule. When I asked if people wanted to come, I WANTED someone to come because it’s fun to travel with people, but I wasn’t going to not go when no one wanted to come… And the more people who told me to be careful, and to reconsider whatever adventure I am on, you aren’t going to change my mind.
My anxiety might be through the roof on speed, but my determination is solid.
Another thing, don’t make this about money. Please stop telling me how lucky I am to have the funds. I work my butt off to do this. I forego sleep and hang outs with friends so that I can do this stuff. When I work 110 hours in 6 days…. I’m not “lucky,” I just want it more.
So (please) stop telling me, “you’re so brave.” Tell me, “have a blast.” It’s not brave to want to travel. I’m just a girl on a constant adventure.